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Some Days You eat the bear – Other Days the bear eats you

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A few years ago, Billy Collins wrote a masterpiece called “Some Days.” Some Days you eat the bear and other days the bear eats you is Collin’s poetic explanation of the piece. In it he asks the question:

“How would you like it if you never knew from one day to the next if you were going to spend it striding around like a vivid god, your shoulders in the clouds, or sitting down there amidst the wallpaper, staring straight ahead with your little plastic face?”

In essence, what he is saying is, Some Days you are at the top of your game – other days you are not. Some Days, as a writer, speaker, singer, preacher, parent, a Christian, leader, professional, athlete – you are on top of the world, but other days you are dull, uninspired, bored, creatively challenged, down, depressed – at a wall.

How do you deal with this kind of emotional roller coaster? How do you manage to stay focus, and keep a sound mind when you are feeling dry, less inspired than the day before? How do you get you get back into the grove? Here are a few thoughts to consider:

Tap into the Supernatural

Where I come from, the question whether God exist is no question at all. There is no argument at all about it. Here in the west we love to elevate ourselves to the status of god-like geniuses or go looking for inspiration in wrong places. Sometimes we hold to the wrong notion that God only releases inspiration, creativity and hope on a faithful few. But “God’s glory is on tour in the skies, God-craft on exhibit across the horizon. Madame Day holds classes every morning, Professor Night lectures each evening. Their words aren’t heard, their voices aren’t recorded, But their silence fills the earth: unspoken truth is spoken everywhere.” Psalm 19:1 – Tap into His daily inspiration!

Look to the old to inspire the new

In a recent interview on TED Radio Hour with Abigail Washburn, the following question brought a very inspiring answer from the singer songwriter: “Is there any environment that really helps you in your creativity when writing or thinking about lyrics? To that she answered, “when I need a new idea, I listen to the old ones.” What a powerful idea. Go listen to old preachers preach, old speeches, old songs and artists. We sometimes think – “oh, I need to listen to something fresh, new and out of the box.” Sometimes all we need to do is, “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it.” All of a sudden we can find our way again. Jeremiah 6:16 – Tap into His unchanging ways!

Accept that some days the bear eats you

It is not a matter of if, but a matter of when. You are going to experience a really tough time. Welcome to the human race. It is going to happen. whether you like it or not. We live in a fallen world. Some people think winning is what life is really about. Unfortunately this is to settle for a shallow life. “He who watches the wind looking for perfect conditions will not plant his seeds. And he who looks at the clouds will not gather the food.  Just as you do not know the path of the wind or how the bones are made of a child yet to be born, so you do not know the work of God Who makes all things. Plant your seeds in the morning, and do not be lazy in the evening. You do not know which will grow well, the morning or evening. Ecclesiastes 11:4-6 – Tap into the adventure of the unexpected

Turn bad days into good information

I got a free download of The Daniel Plan from audible.com three days ago. And I picked up the above phrase from the book about what to do when you fail to follow-through on your goals. You don’t beat yourself up; you don’t throw a pity party – you turn your bad day into good information. Take whatever it is that keeps you from doing the things you purposed to do by putting them in perspective to educate yourself. You will realize that “Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart. Yet, on the inside, God is making all things new by his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the lavish celebration prepared for us.” 2 Corinthians 4:17 – Tap into the life changing process.

This is the kind of stuff that make for an adventurous Christian life… it never gets boring.

Context is Everything

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Context is everything. I heard a story about a guy who had a very unique way of reading the Bible. In his effort to hear what God would say to him for that day, he would hold a closed Bible in his hands, close his eyes, than open the Bible with his eyes still shut, drop a pointing finger on the page of the bible, open his eyes, than read the verse on which his finger landed.

Well, one morning, his first attempt landed him on a verse that said,”and Judas hang himself.” Feeling unsatisfied, he dove in for something else and his finger landed on another verse that said, “go do likewise.” Well you can imagine that was the last day he played Russian Roulette with the Bible.

Come to think about it, most Christians I know approach the word of God Just like that. They reach in for something, than pull it right out of its context. But it’s important that we read and interpret the word of God by taking into consideration the context of every verse, chapter, and book. Context is everything. This is indeed how you “correctly interpret the word of God.”

It is a dangerous thing to interpret God’s word out of context. Whenever we make that mistake – error, false doctrine and heresy usually ensue. Allow me to share with you a few hilarious illustrations to show how easy it is for us to misinterpret God’s word.

I can prove anything I like simply by taking those things out of context. For example, I can prove that:

  • Joseph played tennis in the Bible
  • David had a motorbike, it was most likely a Harley Davidson
  • God drove Adam & Eve around in a car
  • There will be no women in heaven

The bible says, “Joseph served in the courts of pharaoh…” Sound like a classic tennis match with Nadal. “David’s triumph was heard through the land…” Sounds like the 25 plus Freedom Riders making a joyful noise on their way to my church a year ago.  “Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury…” Sounds like a very fast car. “There was silence in heaven for half an hour…” That definitely means there were no women there 🙂

Speaking of women, we hear all the time from people who ignore the overwhelming evidence throughout scripture, that women are called to leadership and to the pastorate, but still insist they are not. They do this by isolating one passage from scripture from the rest of scripture to argue their point.

It is important, when we approach the scripture, through humility, prayer and reliance on the Holy Spirit, that we:

  • Consider the immediate context surrounding the verse
  • Consider the paragraph and book in which the  verse is found
  • Consider other books by the author and the theme as developed in the entire Bible
  • Consider the principle of the “two or three witnesses” as a guiding light
  • Consider the historical and cultural context
  • Consider a teachable, open and willing to learn spirit.

I pray that we will all “Do our best to present ourselves to God as approved, workers who have no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” In Jesus Name… Amen!

Patience: the Rose among many thorns

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Somebody once said that if you ask God to give you patience, “he may allow difficult situations in your life to help you cultivate it.” Unfortunately, these situations are never pleasant and none of us look forward to any one of them. But apparently, they seem like the most logical place for patience to develop. Paul understood this very well. Remember the thorn in his flesh? Speaking to this very situation he said,

“In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We “patiently” endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food.” 2 Corinthians 6:4, 5 NLT

In the same chapter he adds the following

  • We have been despised
  • We have been slandered
  • We have been called impostors
  • We have been ignored
  • We live close to death
  • Our hearts ache
  • We are poor
  • We own nothing

In such difficult times and dark situations, there is one word that stands out. One word – like a rose, a rose set in the midst of a thorny bush. “Patience.” Paul says , “we patiently endure.” Interestingly, patience is not that:

  • put it on the shelve
  • set it on the back burner
  • throw in the towel
  • passively sleep on it
  • hold on to dear life
  • maybe we will get through this
  • kind Paul is talking about
About patience, Barclay writes, “We often think of patience as a passive thing – so we sit around waiting for something to happen. That is not the idea of the word Paul uses here. It is an active endurance instead of a passive waiting. The Greek word hupomone “does not describe the frame of mind which can sit down with folded hands and bowed head and let a torrent of troubles sweep over it in passive resignation. It describes the ability to bear things in such a triumphant way that it transfigures them.”
Example:
There are many examples from scripture to Illustrate this point. But because of time and space we will just consider Abraham.
 Romans 4:18-21
“In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, “So shall your offspring be.” He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”
 There are things things we can learn from Abraham:
  1. He had hope. Hope is about expectation. An expectation that a miracle is around the corner, even in the face of hopelessness. Hope that is seen is no hope at all, But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
  2. He had Faith. Faith is the assurance, conviction, and understanding that what God do what He said He will do. This kind of faith is only for the diligent. The scripture says that God rewards those who through faith, diligently seek God. In fact God expects us to live by faith, and if we shrink back from it, he is never pleased.
  3. He had Trust. Trust is absolute confidence in the character of the one who made the promise. Is he trustworthy? Is he reliable. Can he deliver what he said he would. Abraham found no reason otherwise.
So the question I would like for us to consider today is this:
Do you have the ability to bear things in such a triumphant way that it transforms them?
This kind of attitude is what it takes to break through difficult situation. No time to through a pity party. No time to sit around waiting for something to happen. When you put your hand to the plow, you press on no matter what – you don’t look back until it’s done.
Today is your opportunity to reject a “victimized mentality” and embrace a “more than conqueror throughout Him who gives you the strength” mentality.

6 Reasons why you should forgive people who are not sorry.

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Recently, I was speaking about the power of forgiveness at a meeting and there a young woman two or three rows from the front. I could tell that she had something on her mind. She seemed a bit anxious.

Apparently, she didn’t want to interrupt or draw attention to herself. But I could sense that she was struggling very hard to ignore the urge to ask a question.

Finally she gave in, and with a raised hand, she asked, “but what if they are not sorry for what they did?” I thanked her for the question and assured her that I would address the question in the next session. However, I took some time to counsel with her after the meeting because she was obviously looking for an answer to deal with a pressing need.

 The following is a summary of what I told her and later shared with the group:

Forgiving someone who doesn’t see the need to ask for forgiveness or show any sign that they are sorry for what they’ve done wrong is very difficult. As long as you keep the focus on the offender and the offense, you are never going to get over it. Consequently, they will continue to hurt you no matter what.

Forgiveness is not about the one who hurt you – it’s about you. It’s about how you deal with the situation. It’s about you choosing to live without that hurt for the rest of your life. It’s about you finding the freedom you deserve. They may not deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve better.

Therefore, it is better to forgive than to descend into bitterness and have ones entire life affected by that choice. You cannot afford to give anyone that kind of power over you, your well-being and your future. By the way, revenge doesn’t help the situation, it makes it worse.

Here are six reasons you should forgive even if the offender never asks for it:

It frees you

There is freedom in forgiveness but bondage in un-forgiveness. You set yourself free by setting others free. Through forgiveness, you are able to love and trust again.

It stops them from affecting the rest of your life 

What you are doing through un-forgiveness is giving a person the power to continue hurting you. Forgiveness breaks that power. It allow to step out of their grip and into that of a loving God.

It speaks volumes of your strength, character and faith

Some things are meant to break and destroy you. But you are stronger than you think. You can do all things through Him who gives you the strength.

It keeps your heart where God wants it

God wants you to know He will fight for, that He will bring you justice. So you need to leave room in your heart for Him to deal with the situation.

It slams the door in Satan’s face

Do everything in your power to never open the door to Satan. Trust me, if you give him a foothold into your life through un-forgiveness, he will take full advantage of it.

It brings glory to God

When we obey The Lord in the most difficult times in our lives, we bring immense joy and honor to Him. During those times, people take notice also and glorify The Lord for your obedience.

I confess, it is a difficult thing to ask anyone who’s been hurt to forgive – especially if the offender doesn’t see the need to ask for it. I still recommend forgiveness – for I am fully convinced of its power.

I prayerfully challenge you today to try it.

5 ways to Rekindle the flame in the ashes of your love life

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As we approach Valentines Day, I would urge you to take advantage of the opportunity to make thing better in your relationship with you spouse. Here are 10 Simple, yet powerful ways you can rekindle the ashes of your love life:

1. Address every unresolved issue in your relationship

I understand that women feel very deeply about things, but men do too. It is important to deal with hurts and disappointments as promptly as possible. If we allow the sun to go down on our wrath, we run the risk of opening the door to resentment and bitterness. This is never a good place to dwell in a relationship.. It is important, therefore, to resolve every conflict. Repent and forgive.

2. Focus on the little things

Sometimes in life the things that matter most are small things. Little gestures of kindness. Little acts of grace. Little moments of tenderness. Little sacrificial service. All these can add up to spark an unstoppable flame. It really doesn’t have to be a diamond ring – I’m sure that wouldn’t hurt, cuz diamonds are a girls best friend, but the littlest thing to say I was thinking about you today will be more than enough.

3. Speak his/her love language

Our culture in many ways have seduced us into idolizing sex, especially erotic sex in our relationships. Introducing porn, pole dancing, and play toys will eventually leave your intimate relationship with your spouse bankrupt and empty. We need to look for, wait for and celebrate those things in our spouse that turn us on. For some, it’s that look, that smile, the way she wears her, the kind word, the compliment or that fantastic dinner. So, take the time to speak your spouse’s language of love.

4. Not only Victoria has secrets but Victor should too

We hear a lot about how important it is for a wife to visit Victoria Secret, but not much is said about what the man is supposed to do. Needless to say, both of you need to clean up your act big time not just for a big day. It needs to be an ongoing thing if you want to enjoy a sustained, satisfactory intimate relationship.

5. It doesn’t have to lead to sex

Sex is really great in marriage and I think we should do it a lot. But marriage is not all about sex. It is about companionship, friendship, love and a deep connection between a man and a woman who feels deeply about each other. Rekindling the flame in the ashes of your love life doesn’t necessarily mean We should do all these little things to arrive at the big “O.” When the moment is right that will happen. But what if that flame was simply the igniting of love, friendship, companionship or just hanging out?

Take the time this month to spice up your love life. You can do it

3 Incredible Promises & 1 Big Reason

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“But now, God ’s Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob, the One who got you started, Israel: “Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead-end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That’s how much you mean to me! That’s how much I love you! I’d sell off the world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.”
Isaiah 43:1-4 MSG

Check out The Promises:

When you are in over your head –
  • I will be with you

When you are in rough waters

  • You will not go down

When you’re between a rock and a hard place

  • It won’t be a dead-end

Check out the reasons behind the promise:

I love you

You mean a lot to me

I paid a huge price for you

I’ll sell the world for you

I’ll trade creation just for you
Friends, God is one hundred percent invested in our lives. So don’t believe the lie of the enemy that He isn’t. He is in love with us. He will do anything for us. He will move heaven and earth to rescue us. He lives for your success. His love for you is fierce and furious. So no matter where your are today, he promises three thing:

  • He will be with
  • He will lift you up
  • He will make a way where there seems to be not way.

These promises you can count on, because you have a God who is crazy about you. If your relationship with Jesus is intact, if you rely and trust in his unfailing love, nothing will stop you from succeeding. You might be in a hard place now – but it is not a dead-end. Trust in His unfailing love for you.

Personal Evangelism: How to share a much clearer message

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I sat down for a cup of coffee at my favorite neighborhood Starbucks a few days ago and just as I did, a couple came in and sat just next to me. I promise, I wasn’t trying to listen to their conversation, but sitting that close to them, I could hear everything.

She obviously had a great heart and desire to see her fiancée come to faith in Jesus. But she really didn’t know how to help him get there. I think he left a bit more confused than he came.

Most of us have a passion to see our friends and loved ones come to a saving knowledge of Christ, but we often lack the ability and confidence to share our faith because we just don’t know what to say and how to say it. I would like to use Paul’s conversation here with King Agrippa to share three simple steps on what to say in your effort to share the good news with friends.

Therefore, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision. But first of all to those in Damascus, and to Jerusalem, and throughout the whole land of Judaea and to the Gentiles, I brought the message to repent and turn to God and do deeds to match their repentance. Because of this the Jews seized me in the Temple and tried to do away with me. So then because I have received the help of God up to this day, I stand bearing witness to great and small, saying nothing beyond those things which both the prophets and Moses said would happen, that the Anointed One must suffer, that as a consequence of his resurrection from the dead he must be the first to bring the tidings of light to the People and to the Gentiles. Acts 26:19-23

A call to repent

The Greek word for repent literally means change one’s mind. To repent means to realize that the kind of life we are living is wrong and that we must adopt a completely new set of values. To that end, If we could help our friends connect the dots between a healthy sorrow for what they have been doing wrong and an unshakable resolve – that by the grace of God they can be changed, we would be one step away from leading them to Christ.

A call to turn to God.

So often people have their backs to God. It may be in thoughtless disregard; it may be because we have deliberately gone to the far countries of the soul. But wherever we are, we are called to let the God who was nothing to us become everything to us. If we could show our friends how useless it is to go through life without him, and how trusting in him is a game changer, we could make a world of difference in their lives.

A call to produce fruit in keeping with repentance

The proof of genuine repentance is not merely the reaction of someone whose life is governed by a new set of laws. The man who has come to know the love of God in Jesus knows that he is governed by Love – and if he sins, he is not breaking a law but the very heart of God. If we could show our friends that Christianity is not about rules and regulations but about a love, intimacy and a relationship with God, that could be our breakthrough moment in helping them come to the saving knowledge of Christ.

11 things I tell Seniors in my Church

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At one time in my church, there was no one under 50 years old. Last January, I told a couple of women in my church that my mother just turned 75 and they were  like – “oh my word, she’s very young.” I love seniors, they are fun to hang out with. You learn a lot from them. Their wisdom, and strength rub off just by hanging with them. But other times they can come across as being too set in their ways. Here are 11 things I usually tell them:

The internet/ technology/ social media is not of the devil

Yes! The internet is sometimes used for great evil but it can also be used for great good. It all depends who’s using it and for what purpose. So, learn how to use it and use it for uplifting and educational purposes.

The world has always been evil

Sometimes when seniors talk about the evil in the world, it almost sounds like things were not that bad back in the day. There has always been wars and rumors of war, homosexuality, porn and bad governments and presidents. So look to one (Jesus) who makes all things new and celebrate the good things he’s doing.

It’s time to retire the butterfly collar

I think seniors have a great sense of style. They usually dress up in the style of dressing that was popular at some time in their lives. Remember those bag bottoms and polyester suits? I encourage seniors to try new styles – something they can identify with, but at the same time is current and fresh. And you know what, they hate me for it. They just don’t listen to me. And you know what? It’s totally fine.

Your bad habit is killing you

Sometimes I visit the hospitals or the home of very Ill seniors and I meet them smoking, drinking or doing drugs. Interestingly, it’s the very thing that is killing them. I tell them this cigarette is killing you – get rid of it.

Stop living in the past

It’s cool to reminisce about the past, but if you are stuck in the past you can miss the present and what the future has in store. I encourage seniors to remember the glorious past but also to look for greater things. God’s promise to them is that their latter will be greater than the past.

Stop acting like you’ve never made a mistake in your life

I don’t know about your experience with your parents, but my paps used to act like he never made a single mistake in his life. Frankly, I thought he was a saint. Not until the day his childhood friend started sharing his dirty laundry. Man, it wasn’t pretty.

There is a lot out there you can still learn

Curiosity is the desire to learn or know more about something or someone. Plutarch once said, “The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” Curiosity is the very thing that fuels life.

Gray hair does not make you wise

I have met many seniors in my short life with gray hair. For some, the wisdom that comes from their lips speak to their long life of living in godly wisdom and from their many years of great experiences. But I assure you that I’ve met others the opposite.

When you dye your hair, do it well.

My mother turned 75 few weeks ago. While I was there, she made me cut her hair. I noticed that she had dyed her hair because the dye was fading. So I told her, “mama you would look great without your dye, I don’t know why you want to dye your hair, I am not going to judge you, but when you do it do it well, and do it at set times so you don’t go around with your hair looking like this.

Stop being a party pooper

Sometimes seniors complain about the church being too playful. They complain about how kids play video games at youth group, and how the church is almost like a social club. They want to see a bit more fasting and praying and some serious bible studies. Sometimes their inner fundamentalism comes out too strong. So I tell seniors it’s okay to have a bit of fun in church. For most of us who grew up in fundamentalism, we were all anti fun, too dumb and a little mental. But we’ve come to understand that The Lord is good with his children having a great time in him.

God is not finished with you yet

She was approaching her eighties and had been the church’s pianist for about half that time. Suddenly they had a new pastor and he told her that her ministry was over because he was going to introduce newer songs she could play. She left her church and started coming to my church. As she wept in my office one afternoon, I told her God is not done with you yet. I know you can’t play newer songs or keep up with the new things God is doing, but there is so much you can still do. So I used her occasionally with the entire band, had her play at altar times, or share a song that was dear to her heart.  I used her at Throw Back Thursday, where she led other seniors in worship at their luncheon. As long as there is breath in your lungs – God can still use you.

Cultural clashes in defining beauty

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My wife was recently in Boston to give a short talk at TED. The video is available on their website right now. I would appreciate it if you took just a few minutes of your time to follow the link/video still below, watch the video and give her your feedback.

adal

About this speaker
Dalali is not only my wife, but the mother of my two children and the most amazing person I know. She is a State Street new hire, who graduated from California State University, Chico with a double major in project management and accounting. Her research focuses on how leadership styles played an important role in political upheaval. Delali is also a certified SAP associate and led a project to convert SAP ERP Financial case studies from IDES to GBI dataset, to support SAP curriculum progress at her university.

About this talk
In this talk she shares her personal story of how growing up in West Africa, she was bullied and marginalized for being skinny. Her family worried about her, put her on diets, and found her embarrassing and shameful. Then, she moved to the U.S. in her 30s, where she was suddenly seen as beautiful! Through her story, Delali illuminates the importance of creating your own self image.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you my lovely wife Delali Bright. Please click on the link to watch my wife’s powerful talk at TED. It’s called – Cultural Clashes in defining Beauty.