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Married to Grow

 “Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a means by which we may grow in the Lord and realize His glory. Paul S. Rees

The struggle is real

What if marriage was the breathing ground for character development and Christian maturity? When I entered marriage I didn’t see it that way. But today, I’m persuaded God intended us to grow into being Christlike in every stage of life, but especially when married

It isn’t easy living with another person. I don’t care how much you’re in love, you are going to experience some difference of opinion from time to time. It’s not necessarily a bad thing as long as you are handling it in a peaceable manner.

I confess that I’ve never been challenged any other time in my life than I am in my married life. That’s because I am very different from my wife and she is very different from me. Like the saying goes – “opposites attract before marriage – then they attack during the marriage.”

It is important to put a little more effort in living like a Christ follower at home. Any home that exhibits characteristics of strife, violence, and abuse in all its forms is a really dysfunctional home in desperate need of a complete makeover. If there are kids in homes with this level of dysfunction, they are immensely affected.

Negative consequences

  • Kids don’t respect parents who profess one thing but live something else
  • Kids get sick of church because of the hypocrisy in the home
  • Kids become the victim of divorce because of this level of dysfunction

A Little tough love

Husbands, if you are misbehaving at home – I don’t care how impressive and godly you may look in the public square it is time to really honor Christ at home. It is time to grow and show Christian character. You cannot verbally abuse your wife, treat her like trash, cheat on her, dominate and control her and expect God to answer your prayers. The scripture admonishes us to:

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Wives, if you are misbehaving at home – I don’t care how beautiful you are in appearance or how spiritual your friends think you are it is time to really honor Christ at home. It is time to show Christian character.  You cannot disrespect your husband, treat him like trash, dishonor him,, hit him, cheat on him, undermine him, lie to him and be a constant dripping. If you are argumentative, hostile, domineering and aggressive in an unwholesome way, you can hinder your relationship with the Lord.

A Godly Example

The early church father – Tertullian, wrote a letter to his wife around A.D 202. I think it is a very good example of an ideal relationship between a husband and wife. Here is what he wrote:

How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice. They are as brother and sister, both servants of the same Master. Nothing divides them, either in flesh or in Spirit. They are in very truth, two in one flesh, and where there is but one flesh, there is also but one spirit. They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another. Side-by-side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They have no secrets from one another. They never bring sorrow to each other’s hearts…Psalms and hymns they sing to one another. Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace. Where there also He is present, and where He is there evil is not.”

I hope this letter ministers to you as profoundly as it did to me. I also pray that it changes the way we live at home with our spouses. It’s about time for the complete makeover.

May the Lord bless you today!

This entry was posted in: relationship


There are three things I think about every moment of everyday... they consume me deeply. How to: 1. Refine my theological understanding 2. sharpen my ethical rigor 3. and heighten my devotional intensity. These are the things I write about. Welcome you to my blog... Join me on this incredible journey of exploration and discovery of all the things God has in store for His children. Join by following or subscribing. I appreciate your thoughts, comments and friendship. Walter

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