Every Sunday morning before I take the pulpit to speak, I wrestle with what I am about to deliver:
Is this of God?
Is this what the Spirit wants me to share today?
Have I study enough, prepared enough?
Many mornings I am led to preach something other than I prepared.
Other times I walk to the pulpit, heart pounding, not knowing what I am going to say.
I would love to say I am spot on every time, but that wouldn’t be true.
I miss him sometimes – but when I do hear Him and obey Him, it’s glorious.
Every afternoon I take sometime to reflect upon the message preached.
I celebrate what God did during service.
I praise him for the response of His people to His word.
Sometimes I second guess what I shared, even though, I know He was in my preparation.
Did I miss God?
Was I obedient to His voice?
I thank God for testimonies heard
I weep sometimes – especially when I don’t see Him move
Than again he reminds me that He is more interested in what he is doing in me than what He is doing through me.
This is my beautiful tension. This is my story. This is my joy. This is my labor. I am humbled by it. I am honor by it. I am changed and challenged by it. And no one can take it away from me.
I will study to show myself approved, a workman who rightly divides the Word of truth. But I will stay humble and obedient to the voice of the Holy Spirit for He makes all things beautiful – even my Sunday Morning and Sunday Afternoon Tension.
Isaiah 50:4-5 NIV
The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away.