“Once exposed, a secret loses all its power.”
― Ann Aguirre, Grimspace
My spiritual father once told me and quote, “Walter you are a closed book.” I think he was venting his frustration, and difficulty of trying to get me to share my secrets. His remark really didn’t matter much to me, because there was nothing personal I would ever share with him. My philosophy at the time was, “there are some secrets you want to keep in and others you dare not let out. Well, that was when I was younger and didn’t know better. In fact I met with him just yesterday.
There is bondage in keeping secrets but freedom in letting it out. Everyone of us should have somebody in our lives to whom we can talk to on a regular basis.
If you truly desire to live a life of freedom, victory and triumph over dark, sinful, secret habits – you must desire above all else a life of transparency. Your life has to be an open book. Letters or epistles for everyone to read – that is if you are brave enough – but at least your life should be an open book to a trusted friend, a seasoned mentor or a gifted confidant.
The more transparent, real and honest you are about dark, sinful, bad habits, the better you are able to fight, confront and defeat them. The one who hides his sins is already defeated, deceived and bound. Jesus said it best:
people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed (John 3:19-21 ESV)
There are many reasons why people hide their dark, sinful, secret habits:
- they know it is bad
- they feel like people will judge them
- they know that people tend to define others by their weaknesses
- they will be less trusted
- they might hear about in the community
- they just don’t trust anyone
- they feel like only Jesus should hear their stuff… not the priest, not the pastor, not their friends
- they feel they will never be loved and respected anymore
It is true that most of the things listed above can and have been a stumbling block for many. But I will argue that it is still a bad idea to keep your dirty laundry to yourself. Here is why:
Proverb 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
Psalm 32:1-4 says, Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
You need to find somebody that you trust to talk to, someone you can share you struggles, trials and temptations with. Someone who can speak into your life, pray over you, bring counseling and wisdom to your life. As much as you give it the Lord through prayer, you should share with someone else. Sometimes just a simple act of sharing your struggles can bring liberation. But more than that, you can open yourself up to powerful prayer, new perspectives and uncompromising truth.
I know it can be a scary thing to confide in others, but it can be very liberating experience. So, take that step of faith today and prayerfully consider finding a mentor.
That is exactly how the power of secrets are broken.
Walter Bright 
thank you for this strong post
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thank you… all for His glory!
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hello Walter, i’ve nominated you for the shine on award so please visit
http://joseyphina.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/the-shine-on-award/ for the link to the award’s image. God bless you.
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The points you make are well taken, but there is another side to consider. Do not cast your pearls before swine. Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. I think you are right that we should all be growing in our willingness to be open, but let us also be growing in discernment and wisdom. Many secrets we may keep would damage other people if they were known, and might lead them into temptation of one kind or another. Perhaps you may think I am just scared to share more and I am trying to justify keeping things private, and perhaps I am. Is there any validity in what I am saying though, do you think?
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Carroll, I know people (Christians) who stand strongly on both sides of the argument. To hang out the dirty laundry or not. There are things I still keep silent, but if I were to be asked directly, I don’t think I could blatantly lie just to make sure I didn’t “lead others astray” with my dark secrets. As a parent, the question is “Do I tell my children I’ve struggled with this or do I keep it to myself in hopes that they will escape the same temptation?” In terms of marriage, I used to believe that my spouse should know everything about me. Now I think that no one has the right to our heart or mind, except God. Many things from our past, should others know, might be used as a means of manipulation if they don’t have our best interest in mind. So relieving our conscience might be detrimental if those in whom we confide do not have our best interest in mind. Unfortunately, even if they DO have our best interest in mind when we’re being transparent, in a later fit of rage, they could really betray our trust should they come upon hard times emotionally. I wish I knew the answer to this question myself. I tell my older (adopted) girls that they don’t owe the truth about their private decisions from the past to whoever they are in a relationship with now. I tell them that there are many ways to be transparent with someone toward the effort of getting to know each other–without airing dirty laundry.
Sorry Walter, for hi-jacking the post. But this has always been a perplexing subject for me as well.
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No problem. Your comment is more than welcome . I counsel against telling your business to any and everyone. I do counsel that you tell it to someone. That someone must be a well trusted friend or mentor.
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I guess we learn as we go. 🙂 How in the world do you post so frequently on your blog? I like the pics and the styled headings.
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As of today I have about 212 unpublished drafts on my WordPress. They are not fully developed though, some just ideas, illustrations, excerpts from books I’ve read. The majority, however are comments I’ve made on verses, or chapters in the bible. My ESV Online Study Bible allows me to attach note to these passages.
Every thought, every idea is a potential post. But it is still difficult to chose which one I should use every day. Some times I go for weeks without posting.
As for my picture headers, I had a subscription with grace way media, but I had to give it up because it is too expensive. So I hunt for free stuff now a days. Go to – http://churchrelevance.com/category/design/
You will find links for free graphics and resources.
On the other hand, I have also been using my iPhone to take pictures… And if course with a touch of Instagram editing, I am able to come up with some interesting pics.
Thanks
Stay Blessed!
Walter
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Amen! Lord give your children safe places to be real.
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Amen!
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I like the list as to why we hide our sins because it is the truth. Many may not say it is but God knows the truth and so we should never try to lie about it. It’s the truth which sets us free
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Right on!
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